Friday Afternoon Multi-Tasking….Errr, Procrastinating

I am doing five things at once…none of which of what I should really be doing, which is working on the Business Plan for iHeart (its getting expensive to run this social network out of pocket! we need to find an angel investor, I know He/She is out there somewhere).

Procrasinating as I do, with Pandora’s (musical) box wide open, here is what’s going on:

1. Dilly-dallying around all sorts of social media (Twitter, Facebook, iHeart)

2. Reading the 5 Must Have Web Tools for Busy Moms (I love the idea of simplifying my life with web apps, but so far I’m not sure its worked, I am though obsessed with Google, especially now that Gmail has video chat. You can bet Man in Kentucky and I have already logged some serious time there).

3. Pretending I have money to shop for Frye boots– my old favorite boots I got 6 years ago in Italy are thin as sandles and splitting at the seam.

4. Editing photos like the ones I took of Ms.SingleMama last weekend.

and…

5. Playing with the idea of a new blog (for all the things in my head and heart that don’t come out here)

Part of why I may be busying myself with a thousand open windows on my internet browser is because I’m harboring a bit of anxiety and fear about my move to Kentucky and I am avoiding thinking or even writing about it.

This is normal….big transistions, especially ones that involve moving a single mom across the country are bound to be a bit stressful, right?

Moms are Sexy

OH how good it feels to hear this on a day I haven’t showered and I have a spinach in my teeth: “Moms are sexy.”

Some are even saying we are the new pop culture icon

I love this post by my Portland friend (and muy talented artist/children’s book author) Steve Ouch.

In his words,

Let’s face it folks, in the past moms were not regarded as the sexiest thing in the world… However, all that is changing. People are starting to look at woman for more than just those wonderful body parts. They are seeing them as artists, creating our new world by producing our children.

I love men who appreciate Mommas, like Steve…and like the one I’m smooching here:

smooch

( A ModernSingleMomma blog post would not be complete without a bit of gushing about her Man in Kentucky, no other muchacho makes her feel sexier).

Check out Steve’s most-awesome kids’ book, Steampotville:

Quite possibly the coolest childrens book ever

Quite possibly the coolest childrens book ever

Take a peek inside Steampotville here.

(Steve also has really good tweets, so if you are a twitter fan, follow him and be apart of his cool club).

Home from Kentucky

Flight attendants are not as eager to serve or please as tip-dependent waitresses. I’ve been both in my life, so I know the inner workings going on…I think I would like another tiny bottle of $7 Cabernet, but I have not been propositioned yet.

It is always so hard leaving one of my men and being thousands of miles from the other. Man in Kentucky and I said goodbye at an airport, again. This long distance love stuff is getting mighty old.

At last, I am home from Kentucky.

I wasn’t prepared for how much love flooded me when I saw Lucca again. It had only been a week, but a week in the life of a 2 year old is a progressive span of time.

It is strange hosting both of these feelings inside of me: the pain of missing a full grown man and the joy of being with a little boy.

The overriding emotion within me this morning is absolute gratitude for the things great and small in my life…

for the ever-expanding love of an amazing man

and

for the the tiny hands that cling to my finger.

Can’t wait for the two men in my life to re-unite. I imagine something like this moment, happening again in December, perhaps there is snow and a santa hat involved:
img_1527

Ms Single Mama in Lexington

Alaina and Morgan

I am so excited. Alaina, single mom soul sister, aka Ms Single Mama, is an hour away from Lexington. She is coming to visit me with Mr. Man and Benjamin and she gets to finally meet Man in Moseley (who is now Man in Kentucky).

The last time we met up our worlds were very different. Let’s reminisce:

Who would have guessed that in less than 6 months time we would have gone from single moms interested in dating to single moms falling in love? Proof life can change on a dime.

Alaina is bringing Benjamin and I’m really excited to meet her little guy as well as super missing mine. I have a feeling Lucca and him will be fast friends, and immediate trouble makers.

Okay…off to get ready!

Tonight is gong to be fun! We will attempt to make another video together, and, get this we might even talk Man in Moseley, who is now Man in Kentucky, to appear in our video.  I have a feeling Ms Single Mama wants to ask him a few things on the subject of falling in love and translocating a single mom. Stay tuned!

Bourbon Country Bliss

Man in Kentucky says, “Lets make-out and wait for something to bake!”

and I say, “You got it, Sir!”

Its time to cook and cuddle, cuddle and cook, Kentucky style with chocolate. Are you ready?

Bourbon and Brown Sugar Flourless Chocolate Torte, a.k.a Bourbon Country Bliss

What you’ll need:

  • 1/2 lb of the best dark chocolate your lunch money can buy (70% cacao or greater)
  • 2 sticks of butter, yummmm
  • 1 1/2 cups of brown sugar
  • 6 eggs
  • 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/3 cup of Bourbon, yummmm

Man in Kentucky and I love to cook and we love to cuddle. We also like one-uping really great recipes we find on the internet, like this one . To celebrate our good friend’s 31st birthday we made our Brad a badass flourless chocolate torte (I’m naming it “Bourbon Country Bliss“).  To make it our own and one-up Forkyou (and make it fitting for Kentucky), we substituted the white sugar for brown, and the frangelico for Bourbon.

Its easier than pie to do and the best thing, next to a lover, your lips will touch this November.

Here is how you do it, simple as can be:

A Whole lot of Chocolate, Butter and Eggs

Part 1: A Whole lot of Chocolate, Butter and Eggs

Part One:

Break up chocolate into slivers and chunks and melt with all your butter in a double boiler (fancy term for pot inside a bigger pot of boiling water). Take off heat and dump in your pile of brown sugar and then whisk in one delicious free-range egg at a time until you got six brown shells sitting on your counter top.

Flourless Dark Chocolate Torte Recipe

Part 2: Whisk, Bake and Eat

Part 2:

Whisk and mix until well combined and then sift in your cup of baking cocoa slowly. (This is the most labor intense part of the job requiring strong forearms with great endurance, so recruit a man do it if you can). Add the bourbon and mix well.  Pour another shot into separate glasses for you and your cooking partner. Set aside for one minute. Lick the spoon you are cooking with four times and then dump mixture into a buttered pie dish with parchment paper on top. Bake for 50 min on 350.

Go to the couch and sit on your lovers lap and sip on bourbon and his lips until you hear the oven ding.

Ding! Take out your delicious Bourbon Country Bliss and return to couch with lover for a 20 minute make out session (torte needs time to cool).

Just before things get too hot and heavy, pull yourself away for a slice of the best chocolate delight of your life. Beware, chocolate is an aprhodisiac and this recipe may cause you or your lover to spontaneously combust.

Whether your baking with a lover or not, give it a go and tell me what you think. It’s just as sexy, and perhaps even more decedent for one as it is for two.

p.s. Can you tell I’m mildly enjoying myself here with my Man? I’m full-on in my own Bourbon Country Bliss! :)

Packing to see my Man in Kentucky. 4am can’t come soon enough. First flight out of PDX headed to the BlueGrass State.

Stayed up late, tossing a nerf with Lucca, watching 30 Rock on Hulu, eating chocolate and filing my nails.

Parenting Boys

Boys like to climb things way to high for them
Boys like to climb things where if they fall they will surely break something.

Nothing like going to a parenting class slightly hungover (from all the halloween sweets, not the micro-brews).

Last weekend I went to a Language of Parenting class and learned something. I learned a lot of things.  First, the class was really cool for several reasons:

One, I’m a big dork when it comes to neuroscience and the class showed us diagrams of how the male and female brain differs. I love learning about brain stuff (The Three Pound Universe by Judith Hooper has been on my all-time fave book list since I was 15).

Two, I love workshops. Self-help? Parenting advice? Spiritual tips? sign me up! And,

Three, I’ve generally avoid parenting classes but this one inspired me to not be so afraid. I guess before, I imagined being pegged as the inept, clueless single mom, judged by my miniskirt even before I walked through the door, but I realized how ridiculous those fears are: The  husband-wife duos that came to the workshop looked just as frazzled about parenthood as I did (but not nearly as stylish, just kidding).

So, get this, apparently male and female brains are pretty different (like in more than 100 ways). And even though your two year old son doesn’t have facial hair yet, his brain is already very much male. Meaning his attention span, focus and priorities are very different than yours.

Three very interesting facts and their consequences in the realm of parenting I learned from Janet Allison:

  1. The male brain has less blood flow. We won’t go into my theory on why this is (blood is being redirected to the other organ that guides their decisions).  Your toddler boy having less blood flow to his brains means he needs time to “zone-out” once in awhile so he can renew, recharge and reconnect.  This also explains why men can sit on row-boats or coaches for hours.
  2. Eye-contact activates the flight or fight hormone. This was a huge light-bulb moment for me.  If you want a man to listen to you, don’t ask him to look you in the eye first. With this new information I suddenly understood with crystal clarity wh a). Lucca either punches or runs when I look him in the eye and tell  him to get his shoes, and b). car trips with a significant other abosultely rock. No eye-contact, just side by side, deeper-than-the-road-is-long, awesome conversation.  Janet advises sitting side by side with your son as he plays inorder to communicate best with him.
  3. Don’t be fooled by the outside of the skull. Smooth though it may be on the outside, on the inside it is very, very sharp with ridges and bony protrusions, they likes of which you hope to never see. DO NOT let your son (or your daughter for that matter) head-butt a soccer ball, play football or join WWF wrestling.

One more thing I learned I wanted to share with you:

Our boys (be they our sons, or our in a Men) need only three simple things from us: to be accepted, respected and admired. We learn how to give this to them (sitting sideways, of course) and we find our simple needs suddenly met: We are appreciated, honored and adored.

Who knew there good be so much cross-over education going on parenting class? I now feel like a more competant mother and girlfriend.  Hip to hip talks it is, I’m so over eye-to-eye.

Brazilian Waxing at Home–What they don’t tell you on the box

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.  Nelson Mandela
 

Are seriously trying this at home?

Are you seriously trying this at home?

I did it. I Brazilian-waxed myself.

I took J-Fo’s advice and skipped the alcohol prior to the waxing. 

I’m drinking now, though. LOTS.

While I’m satisfied with “my work,” (attempt- after- attempt- after- bubbling-hot-waxy-attempt… its sucks to be a perfectionist) I am entirely blown away by the lack of direction and helpful tips provided in the box. 

I picked up Sally Hanson’s “Brazilian Bikini Waxing & Shaping Kit” for $9 and some change at my local Wallgreens, right next to the “Firewalking Kit”.  Just kidding. There was no Firewalking Kit, but there might as well should be.  I mean, lets be honest, are these two activities really that different? If anything, Brazilian waxing at home is much more dangerous and painful than walking on barbecued coals in  your backyard. How sensitive is your hoo-ha compared to your heel? Yeah. You get my point.   

So, Sally’s “Exclusive Brazilian Formula” Kit sets you up for the torture of your life in only three steps. Here you go:

1). Microwave wax- DO NOT OVERHEAT

2). Apply wax- WORK IN SMALL AREAS

3). Remove wax- PULL VERY QUICKLY

 

What Sally doesn’t tell you is this:

a). You need to be an elite gymnast, a seasoned Yoga practitioner, or double-jointed, to confidently see what you are doing to your undercarriage. The plastic mirror provided does not bestow confidence or guarantee accuracy. 

b). It is advised you listen to the entire audio book of Tony Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within”  twice prior to heating the wax.

c). It is recommended you ask your church, your friends, and/or your family to pray for you, and for the safe keeping of your vagina.

 

Remember when you were in labor and you would get to the top of a contraction and you would  want to punch someone in the face? And then, mercy, the ebb started to flow and the pain didn’t hurt so bad. You could breathe again.  For a second you could even relax, smile even. Then, you felt so much joy that it was over anger and fear that it was just beginning again you wanted to punch yourself in the face…

happy times. good memories.

Well, waxing is kinda the same thing. You get one good strip done and suffer madly for it, but before you can celebrate your feat, the reality sets in that you have to suffer it again…and again…and again…and…holy f*ck! its not over yet?

In these moments, be your aim birthing a child or waxing the smoothest coochie, you got to just power through it. Remember these words by Mr. Shakespeare:

Boldness, be my friend.

I’m glad I had my bible, my Blackberry and my glass of wine, close at hand.

Next time I’ll also make sure I have better lighting…and a wooden spoon to bite on.

Man in Kentucky: 5 Days Away!

How I’ve missed my  Man in Moseley IMG_9118 errr, Man in Kentucky:

Man in Kentucky looking mighty nice in fringe leather pants.

Man in Kentucky looking mighty nice in fringe leather pants.

Yes, its harder being alone after practically being attached at the lips or the hips to this hottie (see above). But I’ve been a good strong, independent, single mom and kept myself together despite the overwhelming desire to rest my center of gravity in him.

I’ve been doing lots of yoga, eating lots of raw vegetables, getting up early to pray and walk, drinking lots of wine and enjoying girl time– you know, the things us Oprah-guided women do to “nurture” ourself when we aren’t having any sex).

Despite enjoying this spiritual high and me-time (note: me- time to a single mom rarely every means me-alone- time. It means: do-your-best-to-pretend-there-is-not-a-2-year-climbing-on-you-while-you-are zen-on-your-yoga-mat-in-downward-dog) I haven’t, however, forgotten how absolutely incredible it is to be near my Man, to spend longs days with him, to pray with him, to shower with him, to go on dates and do laundry with him.

 Even after almost a month of living in one room together with Lucca, I never grew tired of his company or his man sweat. I’ve been without it for 2.5 weeks (feels like years) and have had to settle for Skype dates and SMS. Now it is less than a week until I’ll be with him once more, and I’m getting pretty excited. Pretty excited.

With the excitment comes the “holy-sh*t-I-haven’t-shaved-my-legs-in-a-month” need to do some beautifying. But unlike my preparations to see him in the past there will be no trips to the salon, no airbrush tans, no eyelash extensions, no new clothes. It’s not that I don’t want to get all dolled up for him anymore– i’ll always like being a woman for my Man even though I know he loves me pretty much the same looking like a lady as I do looking like a leperchan)–I wish I could go through the beauty gauntlet before my trip, but times are hard and “frivalties” have to go.

One thing that is not a frivalty is a good wax…But the economy has forced my to forgo a visit to my rockstar brazilian waxer and do it myself (so help me God).

I went to wallgreeens this morning and picked up an at-home Brazilian wax kit. Very scary. Lots of warnings on the box. Oh boy, who am I kidding? This isn’t going to work at all. Its kinda like like punching yourself in the face: you just can’t do it.

I will try though, if only for the adventure of it. (Daring activies defintiely help pass the time).

Monday night, the day before my early flight to Kentucky, you know what I’ll be doing: drinking a bottle of wine to find the courage and gusto to put hot wax on my….errrrr, punch myself in the face.

Honey, I love you. I can’t wait to see you and the Flowers in the Blue Grass State!

If any one has any tips on at-home brazilian waxing, please share them. If not, your prayers will work too.